As I have said in previous blogs or posts, I love flying for the fact that I can read and spend a lot of time reflecting on my life. I have come to realize I feel close to the Lord and feel His prescence when I fly. That's not to say I don't feel Him elsewhere. Today, I have dove head first into the book called Crazy Love. Here are a few things the Lord has laid on my heart while reading.
Love is a choice. We either choose to love or not. This love is not reserved for just family and friends. This love is for everyone including our enemies. This also includes God. If we don't love God: the creator of the universe, the Beginning and End, Alpha and Omega; then why do we think we will love others differently? In Crazy Love it says, "The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him. A perfect being, I definately need His help to love other, faulty humans. "
People choose to love us everyday, but how much do we actually let them love us? We might put up walls, wear masks, or change the subject when we feel vunerable. If you have ever been hurt by someone you love, then you might feel how I have felt before. You feel closed off to the idea of letting people love or get close to you again for the fear of being hurt, yet again. This ends up becoming a pattern or a cycle that needs to be broken. This means we cannot just throw in the towel and quit. No, that is not the life God has intended for those who love Him.
A lot of times I do not understand the depth of God's love for me, nor do I understand the love that friends and family show me. It has been years of learning how to trust and regain the strength to let walls be torn down in order for me to trust others deeper than just a surface level relationship.
Now, being hurt in the past does not give me the excuse to operate out of fear, stress, doubt, or pain. Those are copouts which say I don't think God is big enough to handle my problems. Why do I forget so quickly that He is the God of the universe and knows EVERYTHING about me? Yes, we have trials, tribulations, hurt, pain, walls, and the list goes on and on. However, this life is not about us. We are only a tiny piece to this magnificently massive puzzle we are all a part of. (God's Plan)
When will we stop thinking about ourselves all the time and start focusing solely on God and how we can bring glory to His name and not ours? I included in all of this, need to remember this life is not about making myself look put together but rather admitting I am a sinner in desperate need of being saved.
From the book Crazy Love it says, "God loves us and longs for us to love Him back." He pursues us ALL THE TIME! He loves us so much. He wants to give us good things. So stop fearing. Stop doubting. Stop having distrust and misplaced trust. Take a risk, leap of faith if you will, and seek the Lord with everything you have within you. Love radically. Sing and dance for joy proclaiming the love of the Lord to others.
I guess with all this said, I personally struggle with trust, fear, doubt, insecurities, and ultimately a massive lack in loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I KNOW that I am not the only one that feels this way. I hope we can pray for each other. If you ever need prayer or need someone to talk to please just ask. It doesn't have to be me. Just be honest with yourself and most importantly be honest with God and where you are at in your heart and mind. God does not just want part of you. He would rather all or nothing at all. May love abound on all of you my brothers and sisters.