Thursday, April 20, 2017

5 Year Plan

When someone asks the question, "What is your 5 year plan?" Some people have no idea, others know somewhat of what they are thinking, and then you have the ones who know exactly where they see themselves in 5 years. I have not ever been the type who could actually see farther than 6 months down the road or maybe a year if I was feeling confident of where I felt the Lord leading me.

I would not have ever thought I could say that I have lived in one place on my own for 4 years and now working on starting and completing my 5th. I remember like it was yesterday. I sat in my advisors office and she said, "How about you do your student teaching in Alaska?" I looked at her without hesitation and said, "yes." She proceeded to tell me that I needed to call my parents before I made a decision, knowing that they would probably like to hear before I packed my bags and bought a plane ticket. I left her office, called my parents, and told them I was heading up to Alaska. I told them I needed to pay my way up there to which my mom replied, "Don't worry, it will all work out." This was just the beginning of how the Lord was starting a major work and transformation in my life with my move to Alaska.

Initially I looked at moving up here as a temporary type deal. 6 weeks of student teaching potentially get a year of teaching and call it good. That is as far as I thought ahead in "future planning." 6 weeks turned into another 5 months, which turned into year after year, resulting in this being the end of my 4th year and next August beginning my 5th. I moved up here to follow the leading in my heart, seek adventure, and broaden my life/teaching experiences. I had the support of my family and friends with the thought I would be back after 6 weeks. It isn't easy being away from all of my people back home and I so enjoy my summers with them. I am sure you can go back through my blogs to see where all this adventuring in Alaska began and how it began to shape into what it is now. 

This blog was originally intended to share my experiences out here with my family and friends back home, it was never intended to become a way to process and share my story of how wonderful the LORD is in my life. However, I am extremely glad to know the Lord had better plans for this blog. Sometimes it is so difficult to write on here becuase I am not sure if it's even worth posting for someone else to read. I think, who wants to read my thoughts, feelings, and now grieving habits? But here we are: me writing and you reading. So let's keep it going.....

I wanted to say less is more but if you know me at all, that is never the case. There's always a story behind my response. I just wanted to share a little bit of some connections I have been making with the beginning of my journey here until now. Before the accident happened this Christmas I had already been blogging and journaling consistently. The more I spent time with Kyle the less I journaled becuase we always had something to do or somewhere to go. We had been planning a wedding and yet jobs, friends, among a list of everything else we did together and were studying for. I so cherish those moments with him. Some lesson, learning takeaways, and aha moments are:
  • The Lord hears us
  • Be honest
  • Take risks (stepping out in faith)
  • Love others and love them well
  • Don't let fear control or be paralyzing
  • It's okay to NOT be okay
  • Trust is hard to do but it is worth it
  • Guard your heart
  • Having good friends is necessary
  • Don't expect or set expectations 
  • Forgive (repeatedly)
  • It is worth it to love even when there is loss
  • I am fully loved and fully known
I could go into an in depth explanation of how the Lord has worked in each area and why theses are the main themes but I'll save some words for later. I simply wanted to share that I am coming back to Port Alsworth to teach next year. I know that I need to be here even if it wasn't apart of our year plan or even our 2 year plan together. I know that Kyle would tell me that I am making a good choice based on everything we discussed this past year. I don't know what this year of teaching holds for me but I am excited, ready as I can be, hopeful, encouraged, determined, and stepping out in faith that the Lord will show me each step. 

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